Do you know that person who always gets way too close when they talk to you? That’s Vice President Joe Biden.
So some people are a little more touchy-feely when they talk, and that’s totally okay. But Biden is the king of creep, the sultan of stroke, the baron of the brush, the caesar of physical contact.
Biden stole headlines on Tuesday after he gently caressed Defense Secretary Ash Carter’s wife Stephanie during Carter’s swearing-in ceremony. But let’s not forget that Biden has a long history of intimate gestures with complete strangers and acquaintances.
Montauk police were investigating the bullet hole, which they quickly traced back to 62-year-old William Evans’ property, when they noticed a potted pot plant “in plain sight.” According to the East Hampton Star, much of the police report is redacted, but Evans then allegedly admitted to having hand guns in the house and let officers inside.
Police then discovered several plants under a grow light, two unregistered pistols, another room of marijuana plants, a plastic bag of weed, and a pipe next to the bed.
Evans’ downfall apparently came because he had been shooting at rabbits who were “attracting foxes that were frightening his dogs.”
Evans and another resident of the house, Patricia M. Felden, were arraigned and released on $250 bail.
Tara Mishra, 33, had stripped for 15 years and managed to save $1,074,000. So she gave the cash to friends to open a New Jersey nightclub. But when those friends were pulled over in Nebraska, the cops suspected the money was tied to drugs and confiscated all the cash.
This week, a judge ruled that since the police failed to find evidence of drug activity, and since a canine search revealed only trace amounts of illegal drugs on the money, the cash had to be returned.
“The government failed to show a substantial connection between drugs and the money,” U.S. District Judge Joseph Bataillon wrote. “The dog sniff is inconsequential…The court finds the Mishras’ story is credible…Ms. Mishra did have control over the money and directed the Dheris to deliver the money to New Jersey for the purchase of the business.”
According news site Xinhua, South Korean custom officials have nabbed nine Taiwanese nationals for allegedly smuggling 134 pounds (60.75 kilograms) worth of gold, hiding it in the one place they knew they could really hide something in: their asses. The value of the gold is around $3 million dollars. You can see the confiscated contraband above. Never have plastic gloves been more necessary.
The smuggling operation is accused of moving the gold through Gimhae International Airport in Busan, South Korea on numerous times.
The man at the operation’s backend is apparently a 47 year-old Taiwanese man surnamed “Zhou”. Reportedly, Zhou would recruit mules by asking them if they “wanted to go on a trip to Seoul.” Then, after the mules carried the gold in their hindquarters, supposedly, they would drop the goods off at a subway station in Seoul for another member of the outfit.
Xinhua reports that since May, the group is believed to have smuggled gold into South Korea on eleven different occasions by dividing it into 270 pieces of gold, each weighing 8 ounces (225 grams). That sure is a lot of booty.
The Obama administration is making more moves to prevent childhood obesity—a complete overhaul of the munchies and beverages sold outside of school cafeterias. The administration just released a new set of nutrition standards, which means no more cheese curls or sugar water. You can have fruit. A petite granola bar. Light popcorn. Water. Maybe some low fat tortilla chips, but watch that portion size because everything, according to the new standards, must be under 200 calories.
Changes will go into effect starting in the 2014-2015 school year. This is all part of the Healthy and Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010, signed by Obama and endorsed by the First Lady. The administration has already required that all federally-subsidized school food be healthier.
The Centers for Disease Control reported that 18 percent of children ages 6 to 11 were obese in 2010—a seven percent increase from thirty years earlier. As of 2010’s number, over a third of all adolescents are overweight/obese.
Today is Flag Day, America’s most important holiday. And while it might seem like a good idea to wear flag wings over your bikini or use a tattered Old Glory as a summer blouse, such actions are illegal. But because there’s no enforcement or punishment for hurting the American flag, freedom is constantly under assault.
You might think Flag Day is in the Constitution or something, but in fact it was made up by a young loser not so different than today’s people on Twitter. From the Flag Day Foundation comes this stirring tale of a minor day of observance somebody just made up in Wisconsin:
In Waubeka, Wisconsin, in 1885 Bernard John Cigrand a nineteen year old school teacher in a one room school placed a 10” 38 star flag in an inkwell and had his students write essays on what the flag meant to them. He called June 14th the flag’s birthday. Stony Hill School is now a historical site. From that day on Bernard J. Cigrand dedicated himself to inspire not only his students but also all Americans in the real meaning and majesty of our flag.
That even sounds like something a schoolteacher would write today!