SHAQUILLE NEEDS TO STOP!!!

Soda Shaq

It probably won’t surprise regular readers to learn that we’re not huge sports fans here at 411WEBMAG — I mean, I am, but I’m barely bringing the average up — so for us to write with any regularity about a sports icon, that person has to be a) good enough at sports that pretty much everyone on the planet knows their name and b) ludicrously entertaining in all other aspects of his or her life. By this metric, Shaquille O’Neal is the perfect sports star for our site, a fact confirmed by yesterday’s announcement that Shaq will be lending his name — and more importantly, his face — to a line of cream sodas from Arizona.

Don’t take our word for it, though. Shaq Daddy himself announced the branded drink yesterday over Twitter.

Now, it’s not unusual for an athlete to endorse a particular brand of sugar water. But there was apparently no soda on the market that had the raw power necessary to be endorsed by Shaq, compelling the storied center to work with Arizona to craft his own branded drink, and in four different flavors no less. And before you ask, yes, of course, Shaq’s smiling face will be staring from every can of Soda Shaq, because what’s even the point otherwise?

You’ll be able to get a 20 ounce can of pure Shaq goodness — in Strawberry Cream, Orange Cream, Vanilla Cream or Blueberry Cream — from your local gas station or Qwik-E-Mart soon. For my money, the Blueberry flavor sounds strange and distinctly unappetizing, but hey, I’ll try any soda emblazoned with the image of Shaq grinning like he just found a bunch of change in the couch cushions…because I apparently have more money than brains? Yes, that.

 

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