Pregnant Dude (government: Thomas Beatie) filmed an episode of The Doctors this morning (it airs in May) and he dropped two bombs. No, by that I don’t mean two more babies dropped out of him and rolled across the stage. Surprisingly, that didn’t’ happen. Pregnant Dude said that he and his wife of 9 years and the mother of his two kids, Nancy Beatie, are taking a break from each other’s genitals. Pregnant Dude also said that he has just finished his last gender reassignment surgery, which means that his peen is now a poon. Oh, and Nancy hasn’t met his new peen yet. Pregnant Dude went on to say: “Nancy hasn’t seen the new me yet. Like all marriages, we have our ups and downs, and we’re going through a rough patch right now. At the moment, we’re separated.”

Okay, Nancy must be the kind of ho who’d rather have a clit on her tongue than a peen head. Because I wouldn’t put my marriage in the time out corner until after I saw that dick. Big dick is a game changer. The most surprising part is we didn’t watch their marriage slowly fall into the gutter on a reality show. How are they not on TLC full time?! Oh TLC, I feel like I don’t know you anymore.